Fat Steve's Blatherings

Sunday, September 04, 2005

Ah, Now I Understand

      Eric Free explains modern history to James Taranto:
      The flood in Genesis was caused by Global Warming.  So was the Johnstown Flood.  So was Curt Flood.  So were the Ten Plagues and the splitting of the Red Sea.

      The Chicago Fire of 1871 was caused by Global Warming.  So was the Panic of 1873.  So was the Panic of 1837.  The bubonic plague too was caused by Global Warming (how could you forget this?).  So was the fall of Constantinople (note the parallel with the war in Iraq).  And the Red Chinese onslaught across the Yalu River in the Korean War was caused by Global Warming.  So was the Normandy Invasion in World War II.  So was the Norman Invasion of 1066.  And the San Francisco earthquake of 1906 and Haley's Comet.  And for that matter the Hale-Bopp Comet.

      The title weather in "Bartholomew and the Oobleck" was clearly caused by Global Warming.  So was the pink snow in "The Cat in the Hat."  So was Andersonville Prison during the Civil War.  So was the entire Civil War.  So was the Amityville Horror.  So was the Dunwich Horror.  So was the failure of the Colorado Rockies to make it to the World Series every single year that they've been a Major League franchise.  So was the failure of any of the three "Matrix" movies starring Keanu Reeves to win an Academy Award for Best Picture.

      AND GEORGE W'S ELECTION TO THE PRESIDENCY IN 2000 WAS CAUSED BY GLOBAL WARMING!!!  (Why do you think he opposes an end to it, after all?)


      We must admit, we never thought of it quite that way.


THE HOUSE OF SAUD MUST BE DESTROYED — AND WILL BE!

0 Comments:

Post a Comment

<< Home